


Ruining the Illusion

by lionessvalenti



Series: Bought and Paid For 'Verse [3]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Alternate Reality, Canon Het Relationship, Dinner, F/M, Multi, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 12:31:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal and Kate run into Peter while grocery shopping. It only gets more awkward from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruining the Illusion

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Lefaym for beta reading!

Neal woke up to the scent of maple syrup. Bleary-eyed, he rolled over and grabbed his phone to check the time: just after two in the afternoon. He sat up and stretched his arms up over his head. His shoulder popped and he groaned. It felt good, even when it hurt a little.

"Are you making pancakes or waffles?" he asked in a loud voice. He loved a lot of things about their loft, but the fact that he could shout down to Kate in the kitchen from the upstairs bedroom with no problem was one of his favorites. He liked the open-air quality, and that there was only a wooden railing separating the bedroom from the rest of the loft.

"Waffles," she replied. "You want some?"

Neal pushed the tips of his fingers into the corners of his eyes, clearing out the crusties. "Yeah, I'd love one." He crawled out of bed and pulled on his old paisley robe. Kate called it "manky", but it was perfectly clean, even if it might fall apart at any second. Smoothing back his sleep-mussed hair, he walked down the narrow staircase to the lower level of the loft.

"Morning," Kate said, twisting around to smile at him. Her dark hair was pulled up in a tangled bun, like she hadn't brushed it yet, and she was wearing red flannel pajamas that had once been his. The loft was drafty and even though they both slept in their underwear, they bundled up around the house throughout the winter.

"Good morning," Neal replied. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. "How long have you been up?"

"Long enough to eat, like, three of these. How many do you want?"

Neal considered it. He wanted to eat three waffles, but being in peak physical condition was part of his job. Hours at the gym, and eating a healthy diet. His breakfasts usually were made up of eggs and wheat toast that he made before running out the door, but on his day off, Kate always cooked something full of sugar and trans fats. But he still tried to keep his body in mind.

Kate looked over her shoulder at him and elbowed him gently in the stomach. "Two waffles won't kill you. Live a little. And you need to eat something. We're going shopping and we can't buy more food than we can carry. We both know you're the worst for that."

Neal cleared off a space on the counter. The kitchen was always a mess, cluttered up with Kate's art supplies and the things they didn't have cabinet space for, like extra rolls of paper towels. "Grocery shopping is the big plan for my day off? It's almost Valentine's season, and you know how people hate to be lonely then. I don't know when my next day off will be."

"Oh, I have plans," Kate said with a wink. She dropped the lid on the waffle maker. "But we need toilet paper. I don't know if you've been in there, but we have less than half a roll left."

"I love it when you talk bath tissue," Neal said, lowering his voice.

She laughed. "I love it when you call it bath tissue. You make it sound so sanitary."

Neal chuckled. "That's what I was raised calling it. What can I say?"

Kate grinned and turned around to check on the progress of the waffles. Neal admired her body, even under the too-big pajamas. After a long night (though, technically, arriving home before sunrise was sometimes an early night), he loved coming home to her.

He'd had two clients the night before. Though most of his clientèle was male, his early job was with a woman. She was in the city for business, and had been so nervous. She was married, and confessed (repeatedly) that she'd never done anything like this before. After she drank a couple margaritas, she took Neal back to her hotel room and he'd eaten her out for over an hour. She didn't want to do anything else, she just wanted him to go down on her until she ran out of time.

Neal didn't think of himself as a sexual expert, but he was very good at reading people. She was so painfully unsatisfied, probably in several areas of her life. All she wanted was for someone to take care of her and not ask for anything in return.

With a sore jaw, Neal had gone to his next job. He liked midnight jobs because the guys were usually a little wild, and probably already drunk. They were fun and funny, as long as things didn't get out of control, but they rarely did, not at his prices. Neal had been with this guy before so he knew what he was getting into.

It had been quite the opposite of his first job. Neal had pressed his face into a pillow that smelled like fabric softener while his client rimmed him, and then fucked him. Afterward, Neal was so relaxed almost fell asleep in his client's arms. Sometimes he felt guilty for enjoying himself, but this wasn't love. It was good sex, and there wasn't anything wrong with enjoying his work.

But it felt like he was feeling guiltier these days when he had fun with at his job.

"Babe?"

Neal looked up. "Yeah?"

Kate set the plate of waffles in front of him. "Food's ready."

"Oh, thanks." Neal grabbed the fork off the plate. "I was just thinking about last night."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oooh, was it good?"

"It was, but I'm really happy I get to spend all night with you. I don't get enough of those."

"I'm happy too." Kate kissed his temple. "You eat. I'm going to take a shower."

"Okay." Neal tilted his head and kissed her on the mouth.

She smacked him on the shoulder and pulled away. "Baby, you need to brush your teeth."

"I brushed my teeth about five times yesterday," Neal said, though it had probably only been three times. He showered and brushed his teeth between his clients and before he came home. "You would think it'd be enough."

Kate laughed on her way up the stairs.

Neal ate his waffles, enjoying every sugary sweet bite. When he was done, he set the plate in the sink and headed upstairs. He didn't bother showering or shaving, but just brushing his teeth and running a comb through his hair. He slipped out of the steamy bathroom, pulling off his robe so he could change his underwear.

"I love our apartment," Kate called from the bathroom. A moment later, she walked out of the bathroom, her hair wrapped up in a towel. "But I'd love a real tub someday. Like if we could afford to remodel the bathroom, I don't want to move. But I want a tub. I want to take a bath."

"I'd settle for a shower we could both fit in at the same time," Neal replied. He was digging through their dresser for a shirt, but he glanced over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Kate's naked body. "You should see some of these party showers in the penthouses and fancy hotels. They're amazing. You could fit like five people in them if you wanted, but a shower for two would work."

"Is that what they call them? Party showers?"

Neal grabbed a grey sweatshirt out of his drawer and held it up. The front was smeared with red and gold paint. "That's what someone called them. Hey, were you painting in my clothes again?"

Kate scrunched up her nose. "Sorry. It got cold."

"It's okay," he replied, pulling the sweatshirt on. He didn't mind the paint splatters. "As long as it's not work clothes."

"I know that," she said.

"Okay." He rolled his eyes and picked up his jeans. It wasn't something he wanted to make an issue out of if they didn't have to. Not when they were going to spend the day together. No gym, no work, just them.

Kate came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I won't wear your clothes for painting anymore. I promise."

Neal smiled. "Just stick to the ones that are already paint-covered. This one wasn't a bad choice, it was old anyway. Was this the tarot card?"

"That's the one. I love that one too, so I'm glad you're still wearing the sweater. It's like you're carrying a part of my art with you." She kissed his neck. "I'm going to dry my hair and I'll be ready." She pulled away and headed back into the bathroom.

He dug his sneakers out from under the bed and went downstairs as he heard the hair dryer turn on. He sat on the sofa, holding his shoes until he heard Kate walking down the stairs.

"Ready, babe?" Kate asked. "Or are you just going to go out in your socks? I think it might still be snowing."

"I spaced, sorry," Neal replied. He put on his sneakers and grabbed his black winter coat from the back of the couch.

Outside, it _was_ still snowing, and the gutters were full of black, frozen slush. Neal looked ahead to keep his eyes on the fresh snow, still beautiful as it fell on top of parked cars.

"It's times like these I wish we had a car," he said. "But then we'd have to park it and drive around in it with shitty traffic. But at least we'd be warm."

Kate took his hand. He was wearing leather gloves, and she had on ridiculous neon pink mittens, so they couldn't lace their fingers, but it was nice. "I'd rather complain about the cold than a car. But on the other hand, I wouldn't have to rent a van to get my doors to galleries. Of course, that's assuming we would buy a van. Also, I can't parallel park."

"When was the last time you drove?" Neal asked. "Because I know Russell drives the van. And I drove on that trip to Ithaca."

"Good question. I think it might have been 2004. Was it this cold when you came in?"

"I think it's windier now, but at least the sun's up," he replied. He let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close as they walked together.

The grocery store was warm relief after walking in the snow for four blocks. Neal pulled off his gloves and stuffed them into his pockets. "Bath tissue and what else?" he asked.

"Eggs, bread, and those little yogurt things you like. I ate the last one, sorry." Kate didn't sound sorry, and Neal didn't really mind. She grabbed a plastic basket from the stack by the door. "Is there anything you want? How'd you like those protein shakes?"

"They weren't bad," Neal said. He grabbed a four-pack of the store brand toilet paper off the shelf and dropped it in their basket. "But I hate that fake chocolate-y flavoring. The fruit ones were better, but do they have a sugar free? I felt like I consuming a ton of sugar."

"I don't know, I'll look." Kate picked up a bottle of Dawn and added it to the basket. "You know I don't think about that stuff. I should, even if just for your sake, but I don't."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it, I'll look. Where are they?"

"A couple aisles over," Kate replied. "It's with the organic, all natural, soy milk stuff. Healthy food aisle."

"I'm surprised you even went down the healthy food aisle." Neal bumped her affectionately and turned around to walk around the end cap, but he stopped in his tracks.

"Neal?" Kate rested her hand on his arm. "You okay?"

"Did you see that man who just walked in the store?" he asked. He took a few steps forward and peered around the corner.

"No, who was it?" Her voice dropped. "Was it one of your clients? Did he see you? You said they always ignore you if you run into them."

Neal took a breath and turned to face her. "He didn't see me, but yeah, they do. They usually do, but this... do you remember that couple I had a few months ago? The one I really liked?"

Kate sucked her lower lip into her mouth. "With the good chemistry? Is it him?"

"I think so." Neal walked to the other end of the aisle and his stomach dropped. He could see Peter Burke comparing heads of lettuce, and it was definitely him. He'd know those strong lines of Peter's shoulders anywhere, even under a tan trench coat.

"He's older than I imagined," Kate said.

"How did you imagine him?"

"Younger." She laughed faintly and shook her head. "That's so weird. You had sex with that guy. I know that's what you do, but seeing him picking out produce, it makes it seem... more real."

Neal tore his eyes away from Peter to look at her. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am. He's hot, I don't blame you, but it's weird." She shrugged. "I'm just picturing you with his cock shoved down your throat."

"That didn't happen," Neal replied absently, looking at Peter again. He was suddenly struck by the memory of the first time he saw someone famous passing him on the street. That moment of recognition and how his whole body tingled with the sensation that someone he knew -- someone everyone knew -- was right there. But he seized up. He couldn't speak or even think properly. That was how he felt right then. Too tongue-tied by his recognition of Peter to move.

Peter turned around, head of lettuce in hand, surely sensing two pairs of eyes staring at him. He blinked when his eyes met Neal's, and slowly, he smiled. He set the lettuce back down and walked over to them. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," Neal replied. What was he supposed to do now? No client he'd run into outside of work had ever given him more than a passing nod. Did they shake hands? Hug? "I had no idea you lived around here," he said before the pause got too long.

"I don't," Peter said, shaking his head. "I was up here for work, and I'm taking an early day. I'm going to cook El some dinner for a change, and our grocery store isn't on the way home."

He sounded remarkably calm. Neal remembered how nervous Peter had been when he walked into that hotel room, and how he had to talk Peter down before they started. Now he was the nervous one, or maybe Peter was suddenly better at hiding it. Or he simply didn't care. Neal could just be another acquaintance to him.

"How is El? How are you?" Neal asked.

"She's great. I'm great. Busy." Peter smiled and looked down at Kate. "You must be Kate. I've heard a lot about you."

"Really," Kate said, lifting an eyebrow in Neal's direction.

Neal scratched his forehead. "Sorry, yeah, Kate, this is Peter. We, uh, well, you know."

Peter's cheeks suddenly turned pink. "It's nice to meet you," he muttered.

Kate grinned brilliantly, and Neal knew she was going to tease the hell out of him, and possibly both of them, as the only one involved in this conversation who wasn't uncomfortable in some way. "It's great to meet you too," she said. "Neal's told me pretty much nothing about you, but that's how it works. I'm used to it."

"Oh," Peter said, swallowing. "Do you, uh, the two of you, do you, would you like to come over for dinner? I'm cooking. I can cook for four as easily as two. I don't think El would mind. She'd love to see you, Neal. And I'd love to sit down and talk."

"That'd be--" Neal glanced at Kate and she shrugged. He looked back to Peter. "That'd be great."

"Good, good." Peter reached into his coat and pulled out a business card and a pen. He wrote something on the card and handed it to Neal. "That's my address. Maybe you could come around seven? Is there anything you don't guys don't eat? Are you vegetarians or anything?"

Neal shook his head. "Not me, I'll eat anything, but Kate--"

"No pork, no shellfish," Kate said. "So I hope you weren't planning on fixing shrimp encrusted ham."

Peter smiled. "No, I wasn't. I was going to make a pot roast. You're Jewish?"

She nodded. "I keep kosher at home, but I realize we live in a non-kosher world. I just try to avoid the big no-no's everywhere else. A pot roast is great."

"Good. And seven's all right?"

"Seven's perfect," Neal said.

"Then I better get shopping," Peter said, his smile spreading into a grin. "I'll see you then."

Neal smiled too. "I'll see you. _We'll_ see you." He took Kate's hand. "What was I going to get again?"

"Protein shakes," she said.

"That's right." Neal smiled as Peter walked away, back to the produce section. Once Peter was out of earshot, Neal muttered, "Well, that wasn't awkward."

"So you thought the best solution to making it less awkward would be agreeing to have dinner with him and his wife?" Kate asked.

He shrugged. "You didn't say no."

"I'm curious. I was curious about these people when you slept with them. Your reaction to seeing Peter here now, it was unlike anything I've seen from you. And you obviously want to see them again, so I'm curious. But I don't think he wants to sit down and talk. I think he wants to sit down and suck your dick."

"Well, that's not going to happen," Neal said. He touched her cheek with his free hand and kissed her. "You're the only one who gets to sleep with me for free."

"I think he'd pay," Kate said.

Neal laughed and kissed her again. "I love you."

\---

Neal stared into the small upstairs closet. It contained a few of Kate's nice dresses, but mostly it was his work clothes. Button down shirts, polos, blazers, dress trousers, vests, khakis, and ties all hanging up on a rod. Suddenly, it seemed like he had too many options.

"Hey, baby, are you going to get dressed?" Kate asked. She flipped off the bathroom light, the _clack-clack_ of her boot heels loud against the hardwood floor as she moved closer to him.

He turned around and smiled. "You look great." She had changed out of her puffy sweater and into a sheer purple shirt over a black tank top.

"You look like a guy standing around in his underwear," she replied. "Is this really that big of a deal that you can't decide what to wear?"

"No, of course not. I was just thinking that the image of me they have in their mind is wearing these clothes. But Peter didn't seem to say anything about the paint sweater and jeans, so I was thinking I'd wear something in the middle, but I don't have anything in the middle."

Kate walked around him and reached into the closet. She pulled out a blue button down shirt and a black vest. "This with your jeans and your nice shoes and no tie. But I don't think it matters because I'm sure the image they have of you in their mind is naked. I know when I think of you, that's my default setting."

"You're so very wise," Neal replied. He took the clothes and started getting dressed. He still hadn't bothered with a shower or shaving, even though they were going out. It seemed like a bad omen to break his day off traditions. Besides, he looked good with the stubble, as long as he ignored the few hairs that were starting to come in grey, even if Kate did say that it was sexy.

She settled on the bed and watched him. "Neal?"

"Yeah?" He tucked his shirttails into his jeans.

"What exactly did you do with them?" Kate brought her shoulders up to her ears in an extended shrug. "I wouldn't ask, you know I wouldn't except the circumstances are... this isn't like your other clients. We're having dinner with them. It's not like they're going to be strangers to me. I don't want to be wondering all night, _did he eat her out_ or _did he fuck you_."

"No, no, that's fair," Neal replied. He sat down next to her on the bed. "I didn't do a whole lot actually. They did most of it themselves."

"So tell me. Please."

Neal ran a hand over the back of his neck. He wasn't supposed to talk in detail about what he did with his clients. Discretion was important, and Kate was right. She never asked for more than he was willing to offer. She was amazing about this whole thing. She had to be, or they wouldn't have lasted as long as they have.

"Well," he said, "I, uh, I fingered her. And then I watched them have sex with each other. Then I... I, uh..."

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"I--" Neal laughed. "I don't know how to explain it. I sort of climbed on top of him and rubbed one out against his body. It sounds stupid, but it was intense. The whole night was like that. Intimate."

Kate pressed her lips together for a moment. "You really wanted him that night, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did, I wanted both of them. Later, Elizabeth was asleep, and he and I talked. He asked about you, and I told him about your art. We talked about the job. All those things I'm not supposed to talk about with clients. I ruined the illusion, but he didn't want the illusion. They wanted _me_ , the real person. After that, I thought we were going to have sex again, but he just wanted me to come back to bed with them."

She took his hand and was silent for a few moments. She took a deep breath and said, "Thank you for telling me."

He kissed her. "I'd tell you anything you want to know. You know that."

"I try to respect the job, you know? And most of the time, I don't want the details. I know what you do, but sometimes it's easier to let myself forget it. That's why it was so surreal meeting Peter. That's why I wanted to know what you'd done with them."

"Do you ever want me to quit?" Neal asked. He'd been doing this job for as long as he'd known her. At the time, he still thought it was something he'd do until his acting career took off, but that never happened, and Kate didn't care. She didn't want him because she thought he'd be famous. She loved him for the person he was and it didn't matter that the person he was slept with other people for money.

Kate shrugged. "I want you to do what you want to do. If you're ever ready to move on to something else, then I want you to do that. No job is easy, and I don't think it would suddenly make our relationship better if you didn't do sex work. I think we are what we are, no matter what we do. So if you want to do something else, I'm here for you. And if you want to keep doing this... well, I'm here for you."

Neal wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her hair. "You're an amazing woman, you know that, right?" he mumbled.

She hugged him. "I know. Now put your shoes on and let's go have an awkward dinner."

It was a short ride on the G train to Clinton Hill and the Burke's lived only a couple blocks from the station. Neal carried a bottle of wine in a red nylon tote that they used for picnics.

"These are cute houses," Kate said, checking the numbers on the door.

"You want a house like this?" Neal asked. "We could have a real tub."

"No, thank you. This is like trying to make your own suburbia in the middle of a city. It seems almost artificial, but at least there aren't driveways." She paused. "Did I just sound really pretentious?"

He laughed. "A little, but mostly you sound like a woman who hasn't driven since 2004 and who lived in a studio without a kitchen and shared a bathroom with her neighbor across the hall before we moved into together."

"I forgot about that place. It was awful, and I hated that girl across the hall. She kept trying to convince me that living this way was authentic and if we lived any other way, our art would suffer. Like it was horrible to want something better. Now, that's pretentious. Oh, I think this is it."

Neal pulled the business card out of his pocket and looked at the number. "Yup, this is it. After you."

Kate went up the stairs first and knocked on the door. "This is going to be weird, isn't it? I'm going to be the only person in the room who hasn't slept with everybody else."

"Only as weird as we make it," Neal replied.

The door opened and Elizabeth grinned at them. "Hi, guys, come on in, it's freezing out. The walk wasn't too far, was it?"

"Not at all," Neal said, stepping into the warm house. A yellow lab hovering around his feet. "Hey, buddy," he said.

"That's Satchmo," Elizabeth said. "He's a terrible guard dog, so don't worry. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

Neal scratched Satchmo behind the ears with his free and straightened up, holding out the wine tote. "We brought this for dinner."

"Oh, thank you." Elizabeth wrapped an arm around his neck and he could hear her inhale deeply as she leaned in close to him. She stepped back and took the wine. "It's so good to see you."

"You too," he replied. She looked fantastic in her dark red dress. In fact, she was more beautiful than he remembered. He turned and brought his hand to Kate's shoulder. "This is my girlfriend Kate. Kate, this is Elizabeth."

Elizabeth set the wine on the sofa so she could reach out and hold one of Kate's hands between both of hers. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Kate replied. "Neal said such lovely things about you."

"Did he? Dinner will be ready soon. Peter's doing something, I don't know. Just toss your coats anywhere and make yourselves at home. I'll open the wine." Elizabeth grabbed the tote and walked toward the back of the house.

Kate leaned closer to Neal and muttered, "You didn't tell me she was so pretty."

He shrugged and draped his coat over the arm of the sofa. "Are you intimidated?"

"A little," she admitted, shoving her mittens in her coat pockets.

Neal turned to face her and cupped her cold face in his hands. He kissed forehead and said, "You know that they're in the next room talking about how pretty you are, right?"

"You think so?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," he replied, and he wasn't just saying it either. He'd seen the look on Elizabeth's face when she first saw Kate. "Just try and relax, okay? We can have a good time if we want."

"It's only as weird as we make it, right?" Kate said, the corners of her mouth turning up into a little smirk.

"Exactly." Neal sat down on the sofa and pulled her with him. "Try to have fun. You'll feel better after you get some wine."

She laughed. "Yeah, you're right. Smack me if I say anything inappropriate, but then again, it's not like they haven't seen your cock."

Neal looked up to make sure that wasn't the moment Elizabeth was going to walk back into the room. He could see an open space around a corner, presumably the kitchen, but no one was coming out. "I hope we have better conversation topics than my cock."

"I feel like there's an oral sex joke in there somewhere, but I'm not pulling it up," Kate said.

He laughed, and _that_ was when Elizabeth came through the dining room, holding three wine glasses between both hands. Neal stood up to help her, and she smiled. He took a glass in each hand and gave one to Kate as he sat back down.

"Thank you," Elizabeth said. She settled down in a chair across from them and gazed at them, pressing her lips together. "This is a little stranger than I thought it would be."

"That's what I was saying," Kate said. She smiled and rested her free hand on Neal's knee. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Elizabeth smiled too. "How long have you two been together?"

"It's been..." Neal thought back. "Almost seven years? Is that right?"

Kate nodded. "It'll be seven years in May."

"And how'd you meet?" Elizabeth asked. She took a sip of her wine and crossed one leg over the other. Neal's eye was drawn to the way her skirt pulled up her thigh. He tore his gaze away and looked at Kate, already chuckling.

"It's a little embarrassing," he said.

"It's not embarrassing," Kate said. "You make it embarrassing because it's hard to explain to people who don't know what you do for a living. Like my mother."

"You called the service?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes wide.

Kate shook her head. "No, well, yes, but it wasn't for me. I was working as a personal assistant at the time. I'd lived in the city for maybe four months, and I had to pay my bills somehow. My boss was the one who wanted an escort, and I made all the arrangements for him."

"Oh, I see." Elizabeth laughed. "I can see how that might be awkward to tell."

"Yeah, Neal hates this story," Kate said with a laugh. She turned her face toward him and smiled. "But I'll never forget when he walked into that office." She looked back to Elizabeth and shook her head. "He was the most handsome man I'd ever seen."

Elizabeth nodded. "I know what you mean."

Neal felt his face heat up, hearing both of them talk about him this way. It wasn't that he didn't know he was good-looking. He knew that and he happily used it to his advantage. He'd been told many times, by many clients, not to mention his bosses who loved him for it, but it still made him uncomfortable to hear it.

He willed Kate to not tell the part of the story where she could hear the way he cried out during sex in Vincent's office and how red his face was when he came out, knowing this gorgeous woman had heard everything. He'd never been embarrassed by the job before then. She'd smiled at him as he awkwardly told her goodbye. She'd seemed amused by his embarrassment.

"He came back several times," Kate said, "and finally he asked me out."

"And the escort thing never bothered you?" Elizabeth asked.

She shook her head. "It's a job."

"It's really that simple?"

"Most days."

Elizabeth smiled. "So you guys have been together a while. Have you thought about getting married?"

Kate started laughing, and Neal shook his head. "I've asked several times, and she always says the same thing: not today."

"Don't you want to get married?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't think we need to," Kate replied. "If we get married, then people are going to start having all these other expectations of the things we should be doing. It's easier to just not do the first thing they expect. Besides, I don't think a ceremony will make our relationship better or different, and as I keep telling Neal, 'not today' doesn't mean no. It just means... not today."

Neal squeezed Kate around the shoulders. "How did you and Peter meet?"

Elizabeth blinked at him and said, "I was a witness on one of his cases."

"That's right, I remember. I'm sorry. Peter works for the FBI," he said to Kate. He glanced at Elizabeth. "Is Peter ever going to come out? Or is he hovering over the dinner?"

She laughed. "He's hovering. He wants it to be perfect. It should be done by now, I don't know what the hold up is. I should go check, actually."

"There's no hold up," Peter said, walking out the kitchen. "Dinner's ready. Hey, Neal. Kate."

Neal swallowed, staring at the bit of Peter's exposed throat under his open collar. He'd forgotten about the mole on Peter's neck above where his collarbones met. It was unbelievably sexy.

He was used to being attracted to his clients, but this wasn't work. It was his day off. He didn't think about other people when he was with Kate. But this was distracting and confusing. He wanted all of them.

"Let's eat," Elizabeth said. She uncrossed her legs and stood up.

They settled around the table and piled their plates with pot roast.

"This is delicious," Kate said. "You're lucky. Neal doesn't cook. If we want something that isn't takeout, it's all on me."

"I can cook," Neal said. "I can cook eggs and... eggs count."

She chuckled. "They count, just not for a lot."

Elizabeth took a sip of wine. "And you're an artist, right, Kate?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah, and I'm very fortunate that I can do it full time now. I only quit my job three years ago.

"What are you working on now?" Peter asked.

"I'm just starting a commission right now, actually. There's a couple who own a few of my pieces and now they're expecting a baby, so I'm doing a mural for their nursery. It's not what I normally do, but it's good to get out of the house, and it's fun to do something different. And they trust me and my work, so they're letting me do whatever I want. I mean, obviously, keeping in mind that it's a baby's room."

Peter grinned. "So no anatomically correct homosexual love scenes?"

Kate laughed. "That was actually my first choice, but when I got into the space, it wasn't right. I wasn't feeling a couple of nine inch dicks. So I'm doing an underwater theme. It's all four walls and the ceiling. The ceiling's going to be like looking up at the sky through water." She raised her arm and motioned upward. "And there's going to be fish and coral and the whole deal. I say 'going to be' because I'm still in the sketching phase."

"That sounds involved," Elizabeth said.

"It is, and I have to do it in three months, so there's time to get everything moved in before the baby's born." Kate picked up her wine glass, but didn't take a drink. "Three months sounds like a long time, but it's a big project. This is probably my last day off until it's done. But it's good timing. I just finished a show, and it's going into Neal's busy season, so it seemed right."

"January's the busy season?" Peter asked.

"Valentine's Day," Neal replied. "There's a lot of lonely people, and a lot of people treating themselves. It's the weeks leading up to it, and a few weeks after."

"And business is good?"

Neal laughed. "Business is always good. It doesn't matter what the economy is doing, people always find room in the budget for..."

"You," Peter said.

"Me or any of the number of available men and women through the agency," Neal said. "Sex seems to be a high priority for people."

"It's not for you?" Elizabeth asked with raised eyebrows.

Neal considered her for a moment. "I love sex. I wouldn't be doing this job if I didn't, but it's an every day part of my life. I don't know that I get the same sense of... why it's such a big deal."

"I don't know about that, baby," Kate said. "You have times where you make it a big deal."

"Oh, and here I was thinking he was above all these mere mortal desires," Peter said, a grin spreading across his face.

Neal held up his hands. "That's different. It's different with someone you love." He slipped a hand beneath the table and rested it on Kate's knee. She put her hand atop his and rubbed his wrist with her thumb.

Peter chewed his roast carefully as he eyed Neal. He swallowed and said, "Can I ask something about the job? It might be awkward."

"As long as it's not how many people I've slept with," Neal said. "Because I don't know, and if I did, I don't know that I'd tell people."

"Is that the question people ask you all the time?" Elizabeth asked.

Neal nodded. "And I think it's a rude question. I don't know where people think that's okay to ask. I don't think anyone would ask that if I didn't have the job that I do."

Peter made a face. "This one might be worse, so I'll just--"

"Oh, no, please, ask. If it's too personal, I'll decline to answer and we can leave it at that."

"Okay, then." Peter took a drink of wine. "What do you do when... what if you're in a situation where, if you're with someone and they aren't..."

Neal smiled. He got this question a lot too, but it didn't bother him as much, especially not coming from Peter. "If I'm not attracted to them?"

"Yeah."

"Honestly, it's not difficult for me to find an attractive quality in most people. There's usually something I can focus on and it's not always a physical thing. People are more complex than that. And the first time I'm with anyone, I take a Viagra."

Peter blinked. "Seriously? Viagra?"

Neal nodded. "Yup. I'd rather take it and not need it, than need it when I haven't taken it. It takes time to start working, and no one wants to wait around for their escort to get an erection, so I take it beforehand. After that first time, I usually know if I'll need it again or not. Most of the time I don't, but it takes the pressure off."

"So when you were with us," Elizabeth said softly, "you'd..."

He nodded again. "Yeah, I'd taken one. Did I ruin the illusion?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all. I hadn't thought about it before. I suppose if I had, I might have thought that was a possibility. But then I might have thought that we were the exception."

Silence fell over the table, and after a few moments, Peter stood, picking up his plate. "If we're done," he said, "I'll clean up here."

Neal got to his feet. "I'll help."

"Oh, no, honey, you're a guest," Elizabeth said.

"Kate cooks, I clean," Neal replied. "I'm used to it. Let me, I insist."

"Well, if you're going to insist," she replied. She picked up their second bottle of wine and smiled. "Kate, join me in the living room?"

Kate stood up. "Of course." She smiled at Neal, and he winked back at her.

Neal helped Peter clear the table, and he carried a stack of dishes into the kitchen. He set them in the sink and started rolling up his sleeves.

"You don't have to wash dishes," Peter said. "I'll do it."

"I know I don't have to, but I like to. I enjoy doing the washing, it centers me." He turned on the hot water and started filling the sink. He looked up at Peter and smiled. "I like this stuff. Cleaning, grocery shopping. Kate made me breakfast this morning. It's been a great day."

Peter smiled too. "Then you wash, and I'll dry."

"That sounds fair," Neal replied.

"I was actually hoping we'd get a some time to talk alone," Peter said, staring into the sink. "I've been, well, El and I... I mean, I think about you. A lot."

Neal tilted his head down so he could try to catch Peter's eye, but Peter was resolutely keeping his gaze down. "Good," Neal said. "It's nice to know I've made an impact."

"You have no idea," Peter said. He finally looked up, his face flushed. "I think about it all the time. El and I are always going over that night, and... I guess it was just another night for you."

"No," Neal said, shaking his head. He submerged his hands in the hot, soapy water and came up with a dinner plate. "I wouldn't be here if it had been. I don't remember all the details, but I remember you and Elizabeth. My heart stopped when you walked into the grocery store."

Peter smiled. "I think about all the stuff we should have done. We shouldn't have gone back to sleep. We should have..."

"We should have what?" Neal asked. He handed Peter the plate.

"I wanted to..." Peter laughed and set the dish in the drainer. He straightened up and turned to Neal. "I wanted to fuck you. That's what I think about. What I should have done."

"I would have liked that," Neal said. He pulled his hands out of the water and took the towel from Peter to dry his hands.

"You would?"

Neal set the towel down on the counter. "Yeah. I'm into guys, Peter, just as much as I like women. It's not gay for pay. I like it. And believe me, I remember your cock. It would have been good."

Now Peter's face was beet red. "I remember yours too," he whispered.

Neal gazed up at Peter, and slowly he reached up and touched his hand to Peter's face. Neal's heart pounded in his chest. He could feel it all the way up into his throat. He'd fallen in love with the Burke's that night, especially Peter. He'd known it at the time, and he knew it when he thought of them.

"God, Neal," Peter mumbled.

Neal lifted his face and pressed his mouth to Peter's. It was meant to be for just a second, but Peter made this noise, a soft moan from the back of his throat, and Neal couldn't stop. He opened his mouth and wrapped his arm around Peter's body, pulling him closer until they were completely pressed against each other.

Peter cupped Neal's face with his hands and Neal pushed him against the oven. He could feel Peter's erection and he rubbed his thigh against it. Peter shoved his fingers into Neal's hair with one hand and Neal opened his mouth wider to feel more of Peter's tongue against his own.

"Ow!" Peter pulled back, and Neal took a step back.

"What happened?"

Peter clutched his hand to his chest. "Left the fucking burner on."

"Peter?" Elizabeth walked into the kitchen, with Kate right behind her. "What happened?"

"Burned my hand," Peter said. He went over to the sink and ran his hand under cold water. "I left the burner on."

Neal looked up and he met Kate's gaze. She stared at him for a moment, and then her eyes widened and she turned away. "We should go," she said, walking out of the room. "I'll get my coat."

"You don't have to," Elizabeth said after her.

"No, we should," Neal said. "It's getting late. Thank you both for dinner. It was lovely." He looked at Peter and he wanted to apologize, and he wanted to kiss him again. "I hope your hand's okay," he said just as the front door opened and closed. "Shit, I have to go, I'm sorry."

Neal walked out of the kitchen without waiting for Peter or Elizabeth to say goodbye. He grabbed his coat and hurried out the door, still pulling it on as he hurried down the concrete steps to the sidewalk. He could see Kate almost to the end of the block already.

"Kate!" he called, jogging after her.

She stopped and turned around. "I had to get out of there. I was rude, I know, but I couldn't stay there. Not when you'd been kissing him. Don't try to deny it, Neal, I know."

He could never lie to her, so he never tried. All it took was one look and she knew everything. He wrapped a hand around each of her shoulders. "Kate, I kiss people all the time."

"For your job!" She wrenched herself from his grasp. "When they're _paying_ you! When you're on their time, but not when you're with me. Not when I'm in the next fucking room!"

"You're right, you're right," Neal said. "I didn't -- it just happened. It was nothing."

He couldn't remember the last time she'd screamed at him like this. They had the little bickerings of any couple who'd been together as long as they had, but they rarely shouted at each other.

"Bullshit," Kate said. She wrapped her arms around her middle and doubled over. "Bullshit!" she shouted at the sidewalk.

Helplessly, Neal reached for her, but when he touched her, she twisted away again.

"Don't," she said, standing up straight again. "If it was nothing, you wouldn't have looked so guilty. You wouldn't _be_ so guilty. And I know you love them. That's why I wanted to see, to... to know, but it was such a bad idea."

He nodded. "Yeah, it was."

"It's amazing," Kate said, not quite looking at him. "You sleep with hundreds of people and it's a kiss that... this wasn't part of the deal."

"I know," Neal said. He took her hand, and this time she didn't pull away. "I'm sorry."

She swallowed and nodded. "Let's go home," she said. "I don't want to do this here."

"Me either," he said, and they started walking toward the train. They didn't speak until they got back to the apartment, and while the trip seemed twice as long, she let him hold her hand the whole way.

Kate pulled off her coat before she stretched out on the sofa, slinging her arm over her eyes.

"I thought I was the one who was supposed to sleep on the couch," Neal said. He moved stuff around on the coffee table so he could sit down.

She lowered her arm and smiled sadly. "I'm not going to sleep, and I don't even know that I'm mad anymore. I've just been trying to think of some kind of solution for this. One that will make us both happy and comfortable."

"I will never see them again," he said. "If that's what I need to do."

Kate sat up so they were eye level with each other. "I know you, Neal. I know how you are with people, and that's why you're so good at what you do. I know how you feel about people, and I knew that you loved them. I knew it after the night you spent with them. And I don't want to be jealous. I don't want to be that person."

"You're not that person," Neal said. He took her hand. "I know you too, and that's not you."

She smiled. "And you know, meeting Peter and Elizabeth, I got it. They're great people, and I could see that spark they had with you. But I'm assuming that this isn't me asking if you want to be with them or me." Kate paused and bit her lower lip. "It's not, is it?"

Neal blinked. He hadn't even thought of that. He thought of the Burke's, and he thought of being with them, but never instead of Kate. Maybe with Kate, or in addition to Kate, but he'd never considered leaving her, not for anyone. "No. God, no."

"Good," she replied, visibly relieved. "Now that's out of the way, I can give you my proposal."

He sat up straighter. "Okay."

"You can be friends with them. We can be friends with them, but you don't sleep with our friends. You don't kiss them, and Peter and Elizabeth wouldn't be an exception. But if you want them in our lives, we can be friends. If that's not possible, and I accept that it might not be, that you want to sleep with them and kiss them, and be with them. So, there's another option."

"And what's option B?" Neal asked.

"They're your clients. They can pay for your time, and the three of you can do whatever you'd like in that time. I want you to enjoy yourself in that time, but that's it. You don't see them for any other reason." Kate took a deep breath. "Is that unreasonable?"

"No, it's not," he said, shaking his head. "You're right. I don't sleep with our friends, and... you're right."

Kate squeezed his hand. "You don't have to decide now. Take your time. I'm going to go take these shoes off." She stood up, but Neal kept a hold of her hand. He pulled her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head against her stomach.

"Baby?" Kate asked, running her hands through his hair.

He thought of how Peter's mouth felt against his own, and Peter's erection against his leg. The memories of that rainy night in October were still burned in his mind and flashed before Neal's closed eyes. Peter's hand wrapped around his cock, and Peter telling how he wished he'd fucked him. Neal wanted it. He wanted Peter to fuck him, and he wasn't ready to give that up.

"Option B," Neal said. He lifted his face and peered up at Kate. "Clients."

She smiled and took his face in her hands. "Good. That's the one I hoped you'd pick."

"Really?"

"Really. I know you want them and... is it weird that I don't want to take them away from you?"

He shook his head. "I don't think it's weird at all."

He imagined that she probably liked it that staying away from the Burke's in a casual capacity reduced temptation, but it wasn't worth bringing up. He didn't want the temptation either. He wanted to keep the peace.

Kate bent over and kissed him. "I love you so much," she said. "I want you to be happy."

Neal smiled up at her. "I love you too. Will you marry me?"

She started laughing, and she smoothed her thumb over his cheek. "Not today."


End file.
